#the lonely <333 always got my back

[fizzseed]

i fear my silly little 5+1 is turning into a character study,,,,

[bejeweledmp3]

.

[chilschuck]

AAAA i love your blog!! could i pls request a post-canon scenario where chilchuck finally admits his feelings for reader now that they’re not co-workers anymore >_< (assuming reader joined the laios party during the story)

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ WAAAAH ANON i’m so happy you love my stuff!! i LOVEDDD writing this for you, and i have another request in my askbox that’s similar that i’m going to do as well! this was super fun, and i found myself enjoying this idea and coming up with things i could do with it!!! i hope you enjoy!!! <333

— SHELTER: chilchuck x gn!reader.

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw fluff!! takes place post-canon.

꒰ wc: ꒱ 1745 (got carried away again…)

✦ i’m scared to reread this, but right now I’m actually happy with it!! i hope you are too!! <333 i tried my best to keep spoilers to a minimum, and to make this fun to read!! also, the title comes from the song shelter by ray lamontagne, which i listened to while writing it. i hope you enjoy!!!

With your party’s adventure finally over, you had decided to try and finally settle down as much as you could. With everyone finding their own new place in life, you did your best to find one too.

You couldn’t deny it had been rather lonely lately. Your own home was empty, a small place you had tried your best to make feel cozy. With your old party members living their own lives, you hoped you could live yours. But evidently, no matter how hard you tried, your mind always went back to him.

It was a bittersweet feeling; imagining him finally living healthily, working on helping others, and even maybe starting up that shop he talked about wanting. It wasn’t like you never saw him, but going on with every day life without him felt… mundane.

Chilchuck was working on himself, reconnecting with his family, and building the future he had hoped for. That alone helped you feel as much at peace as possible. Your feelings, to you, were not nearly as important as his own happiness. So here you waited, counting down the days you’d get to see him again. Maybe he’d be happy to see you too.

Little did you know, Chilchuck was devastatingly nervous. Buttoning up his shirt with shaky fingers, he tried his best to look as decent as he possibly could. It was the final thing he felt he needed to move on, and he wasn’t going to let himself ruin it. Not this, he told himself. There were some things he refused to let slip through his fingers, and one of them were his feelings he had developed for you.

Through it all, you had been by his side. An integral part of the party, you had built him up when he needed it most. Looking past all the mistakes, all the cynicism he liked to cloud himself with, you proved how much you simply cared. Not only for him, but for everyone. Chilchuck had fallen in love with you, and for once, he didn’t want to push those feelings down.

He had bought the flowers he knew you liked, tied with a sweet ribbon that he felt maybe was a bit too much. In fact, maybe all of this was a bit too much, but he hoped it’d work. Chilchuck even went to talk to Marcille about it all, a sign in his own mind that he was more smitten than he had been in years. Not to mention that he had, in fact, reconnected with his ex-wife, and had gained the closure he needed to take this big of a step. There was nothing holding him back now, and he could only hope the words of encouragement he was given would hold true.

Chilchuck had visited your home before, always noting just how comfortable he felt there. You were always happy to have guests lately, and he felt himself praying that this would be the case this time, too. Fist raised in front of your door, he took a deep breath before rapping it against the wood.

The knock came as a surprise, but not as surprising as the person who was behind it. Your eyes widened, his name leaving your lips in delight. “Chilchuck, hello!” It was slightly out of breath from the sheer excitement you had to try and suppress at seeing him here in front of you. Moving to the side, you motioned him in. “Do you… Want to come in?”

One hand behind his back still, trying his best to not snap the stems of the delicate flowers between his fingers, he nodded. “Yeah, sorry for the sudden visit.”

Shaking your head, you walked inside to prepare him something to drink. “Not at all! You know me… I could never say no to seeing you.”

It felt like another of Cupid’s arrows shot him through the chest. Maybe he shouldn’t look too deeply into your words, at least not yet. Following you inside, Chilchuck found himself trying his best to find anything to look at of interest. The plants on your shelves, the well loved books on the table, the occasional trinket you had decided you couldn’t live without… Everything that made it feel so much like you.

While you fiddled around in your small kitchen, Chilchuck cleared his throat. His mouth felt dry, and to try and slow down the thoughts rushing through his head, he spoke up again. “You know… You’ve done a great job with this place. I remember when you bought it.”

You couldn’t help but smile, thinking back fondly of how proud you were. Preparing you both glasses of wine, you turned your attention to him for a moment. “That means a lot, thank you. How have things been with the guild?”

Chilchuck hummed, eyes studying a particular painting on your wall. “Good… Pretty much the usual. Things are going pretty well. What about you, anything interesting since we last saw each other?”

Other than your constant war on your feelings for the half-foot, you’ve been trying new hobbies in order to distract yourself. As you turned to hand him the glass, you racked your brain for something to say. Giving him a sheepish smile, you shook your head. “Not particularly. Here, it’s one you like. Let’s go sit, yeah?”

He held your gaze for a moment, the flowers in his hand a constant reminder of what he was here for. Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth to speak. “Yeah. But first, I have something to give you…”

Finally taking the hand from behind his back, he steeled himself as much as he could before holding them out to you. Quickly setting the glasses down, you let out a sound of surprise. Your hands reached out for them, as delicate as possible.

Chilchuck felt like his face was a bit too hot for something as simple as this, but it’s been such a long time since he’s had to really woo anyone. How the hell did he manage to do this all those years ago? Scratching the back of his head, he broke the silence between the two of you.

“They’re your favorites, right? I happened to see ‘em and thought you’d be happy.”

Although Chilchuck felt like he was doing a piss poor job at this, you felt like you were swooning all over again. You know how much he used actions as a love language, yet could you even call it that in this situation? Friends did nice things for each other, yet…

His brows were furrowed in determination, the tips of his ears rosy and suddenly you felt like maybe there was something there. Your gaze fell to the buds in your hands, freshly picked and done so with care. The smile that made its way on your features was unabashed.

“Yes, yes they’re my favorites… I can’t believe you remembered that. Let me go get something to put them in. Thank you so much, Chil.”

It was worth it just to see you smile like that. Even if he felt a little ridiculous at the action, it paid off when you held the vase proudly in your hands. “I’m going to put them on my desk. I love them…” You spoke softly, your own cheeks turning that shade of pink he loved so much. For a few moments, it became silent again, his brain scrambling for what to say next.

“You asked me about my plans after our adventure was over. There… was something I wasn’t honest about. And I want to be honest about it now.”

Chilchuck made sure to correctly word everything he needed to say. Taking time in between his sentences, his gaze returned to yours. There was something there that you had only hoped you’d seen in the past; a taste of desire.

“I want to be there for you. I know we’re no longer coworkers, so…” The words fell silent, you remaining patient through his pauses. Softly, you gave a gentle phrase of reassurance. “You’re already there for me, I know that, Chil—”

Raising a hand, he silenced you. Contemplation took over his features, that worry line between his brows that you always found endearing still making an appearance. You waited for him to elaborate.

“…As more than friends.”

Your heart stopped. Did you hear him correctly? Certainly you did, your voice having gotten stuck in your throat as you tried to wrap your head around the weight those words carried. Was he saying that, this whole time, you’ve been a goal all along? Hearing your name, you snapped your attention back to him.

“I want to be more honest with how I feel. I know how I used to be, and I’m working towards fixing it.” His deep brown eyes held a small glimmer of hope, of vulnerability. Chilchuck was trying, and he was trying for you.

Feeling as if the wind was knocked out of your lungs, you asked shakily, “You want…?”

He smiled, a small etch in his features. Huffing, Chilchuck fiddled with the collar of his shirt. “You’re really gonna make me spell it out for you? I… Have feelings for you. If you don’t feel the same I get it, don’t—“

Before he could finish his sentence, you hurriedly set the flowers down before just about tackling him. The shock of hearing him say exactly what you’d been wishing for so long melted into a need to relay exactly how you felt. Chilchuck grunted at the impact, nearly toppling over.

“Of course I feel the same! You think I’d put up with your grumpy ass for this long if I didn’t?” You couldn’t help the teasing words that followed, pulling away from him to grin widely at him. “Can I kiss you?”

Your excitement caught him even more off guard, eyes widening at your question. “Sorry, that was probably a bit too much—“

Instead of giving you a verbal answer, Chilchuck tugged you to his lips in a desperate attempt to get you to just shut up and do it. You happily obliged, only pulling away to ask one more question. “How long?”

Chilchuck panted, confusion evident on his features. “What?”

“How long have you felt this way?” Your curiosity was getting the better of you, wondering just how long you two had managed to dance around each other like this. Chilchuck sighed, giving the only answer he could think to say:

“Too long.”

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

[goldengleams]

Can i request "just shut up and kiss me already." With Matt Rempe, please? 🥺💙

matt rempe love <333 thanks so much for sending in this request, i love writing matt!!

prompt: "just shut up and kiss me already!" with matt rempe

You grabbed your bags from the overhead bin and shifted your weight nervously as the passengers started exiting the plane. You weren't a nervous flyer, but the prospect of meeting your boyfriend's family once the flight was over was making you anxious.

Even though you and Matt had been dating for almost a year, your schedules never aligned so that you were at the same games as his family members. You often went to weeknight hockey games because of your busy weekends, whereas his family was almost always on the opposite schedule.

Now, he had invited you to his family house in Calgary for a week to meet everyone and spend time with you. This was a big step.

You made your way to the gate where you quickly spotted Matt. He had a beanie on with a sweatshirt and sweatpants, inadvertently matching your airplane attire. You waved to him and he waved back, and before you knew it, you were wrapped up in his arms.

"Hey you," you said. You breathed in his clean scent.

"Hey, Y/N. Missed you babe," his words practically made you melt. "It's been lonely without you."

You were already lost in your thoughts about the upcoming days that you missed Matt gazing down at you, waiting for you to look up so that he could give you a kiss. You pushed away from him without realizing, already focused on getting home and meeting everyone. Disappointed, Matt took your carry on bag from you and you both started walking.

"Easy flight getting up here?" He asked. You nodded and kept walking swiftly to the exit.

"Yeah, it was good. I got the aisle seat, which is good, because you know I hate looking out the window and knowing we're up that high. And we didn't have any delays, so we're right on time. Oh, and I freshened up in the bathroom before I came out to you, so your family doesn't think I, like, smell bad or something because that would literally be the worst. And we-,"

"Babe, take a breath. You don't need to be worried," Matt reminded you.

"Well I am worried, Matt. This is your family! And they probably already have opinions of me and have seen my social media and I just don't want them to think that I'm lame or that I'm-"

"I love you, but can you just shut up and kiss me already?" You stopped in your tracks, not even caring that you were blocking people behind you.

"Huh?"

Matt chuckled, clutching at his chest. "I haven't seen you in weeks and you haven't even kissed me yet. I'm hurt."

You rolled your eyes but stood on your tiptoes to reach up and give him a kiss. "Well excuse me for being nervous, are you feeling better now?"

"Much better, and besides, my sisters already love you. It's gonna be a party all weekend, trust me."

[ashrayus]

PLSSSS MORE FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS OF JASON TODDDD!

DUDEE!!!! really happy u asked but also omg this got long agaiN who would have thought (!) i added summaries this time tho :)

here is part one of my fic recs XD

andd heres the new ones!! pls give them some love if u read them :D

Dick and Jason:

how lonely to be something that nothing wants to kill by sunlitlemonade

There were blood drops dripping down his fingers to the ground. The puddle was big enough for it to have spread around more than half the tub. His breaths shuddered, they were shallow and waning. But he was breathing and Dick’s world centered around that.

starting strong with Angst go read all of sun’s fics i always die and get revived <333 pls mind the tags on this one

cast on/cast off by hellsreluctantheir

“This is surprisingly non-destructive for Jason,” Dick comments, lightly. In the parking lot, Jason pulls a grenade out of one of his pockets, yanks the pin, and tosses it through the roller door and out of sight, before tearing out of the parking lot in chase of the truck. “Well, for a minute there,” Dick amends. He takes a step back towards the alley the batmobile is parked in, giving Bruce a quick glance. “We following? “No,” Bruce says, as the grenade goes off. “He’s cleared the warehouse. We can get into the office.” Dick sighs again. But Jason knows he can call in if he needs help.

time loop!!! read most of this writer's fics and fell in love with them all,, go read fr

bloodstained by hellsreluctantheir

“I know where the clinic is, asshole,” Jason said. The wad of gauze he was using to keep pressure kept slipping against his shoulder. The knife had caught the space between two panels, split to allow movement. Lucky shot. “Ok, let me make sure you get there without passing out from blood loss,” Dick said, a deliberate evenness to his tone, like he was doing his best to accomodate someone who was being completely unreasonable. Shithead. “I’m not going to pass out,” Jason said, ignoring the fact that he was actually feeling pretty unsteady on his feet. He caught himself with his good shoulder on the entry to the bathroom, took a deep breath. “What would Daddy Bats think if he knew you were here, trying to help me?” “I assume something like, ‘Wow, Dick, you’re such a good brother, trying so hard to make sure Jason is ok even when he’s being a complete idiot about it,’” Dick sniped.

heres another one from them. jasons scars and dick. andd another one next

brothers in arms by hellsreluctantheir

It wasn’t like none of them went undercover. Jason practically lived there. And he’d punch anyone who tried to make it a sob story for him, to cluck over the times he’d been alone in a pit of vipers, act like it was some tragedy. But given half a minute to think about it, Dick somewhere completely cut off from everyone but Bruce, no allies on hand, surrounded by enemies. Angry as he was at the lie, there was something about that he just fucking hated. or Thinking your brother is dead and then finding out he's been alive the whole time really has a way of making you rethink the relationship.

Shelter by Ptelea

Two safe houses, two nights dealing with the aftermath of fear toxin, multiple conversations, several meals. Written for Sholio's September 2020 Comfort Fest for a prompt from Musesfool. Warning-wise, there's nothing graphic here but there are definitely references to past canon trauma for both the characters.

the way they are written here <33

Rotten Fruits by couldyoublameme

“I’m fine,” Dick assured gently, sitting up slightly. “Just a bad night, is all.” It’s a familiar phrase he has used so often. Whenever the addiction crawls back into his mind, a parasite he can never truly get rid of. The family knows what it means. Knows what the ‘bad’ is. Knows what to do. “Oh,” Jason says. “Why?”

absolutely murdered me. pls do mind the tags

You Can Do Better Than That by AlexaAffect

All Jason could hear was his own ragged breathing. He desperately gasped for air, each breath more exhausting than the last and his lungs and throat burned with the effort. In. And, he needed a second longer with every breath he took, out. His arms had been suspended for the last… 15? minutes? Jason had quit keeping track of the time, he’d been too preoccupied trying to hold himself upright, trying to ease his position, switch it up, anything to prolong the guaranteed death. “Red Hood?” That was Dick’s voice. Huh. So they had found him fast enough. Or alternatively; Dick finds a kidnapped Jason shortly before he asphyxiates.

this fic is just oddly comforting to me idk. very precious

Equivalent Exchange by Lysical

Apparently favors don't expire on death. --"What do you want, Dick?" "For you to be happy, Jay." Dick leaned over and pinched his cheek. Jason reached up and swiped at him, scowling. "And world peace."

ADORABLE and fun

Just for Now by Lysical

Jason was back in Gotham and the timing couldn't be worse for him to need assistance on a case. He didn't want to see any of the Bats and he was sure the feeling was mutual. Nightwing was the worst option for Oracle to pick to help him out.

To Reconcile by CasualDanger

“Babs slapped me at your funeral.” Jason goes to laugh, but it’s just a cough and his mouth barely even twitches up. “She hated me in that moment. I mean, really, really hated me, like I did Talia after I found out Damian had died. And I wondered,” his voice cracks, eyes glassy now, “did you hate anyone when I was gone? Because I was gone?”

he ain't heavy, he's my brother by someplacewarm

Dick's been putting off meeting with Jason for a while now, but when a distress call comes through, he has no choice but to answer. Or the one where Dick and Jason talk, fight, get high and cuddle. In that order.

making gold out of it by vmkhoney

Dick talks himself back down on the bathroom floor, clinical and detached. (For someone whose primary skill is manipulating his body, it’s not very often that he feels connected to it.) - Or, five years after Blockbuster, Dick begins teetering on the ledge of processing what Catalina did to him.

a wonderful dick grayson fic, and jason is there being a good brother. mind the tags

What Hurts You by blueyeti

Dick comes to Jason's aid when he's injured in a fight, or at least he thinks he has.

jason has no scars!! and thats also sad

at me, too, someone is looking by bacondoughnut

Dick Grayson knows he's got problems when the Red Hood's busted leg somehow becomes his concern. aka; How Dick Grayson finds out Jason Todd is alive. A story about healing.

a rather long one for my standards XD (very short attention span) but this made me sit down and read. very fun jason

Bruce and Jason:

Saltwater and Desperation by bacondoughnut

Jason's not sure how he even manages to get himself out of the harbor. He's just glad Bruce is there when he does. Not that he'll ever, ever admit as much out loud.

same writer, love this jason (and bruce) so much

Insomnolence by navree

It's not like he slept much as a kid anyway; this is just a return to the status quo. He's not overly tired, and even if he's been sleeping less than his already limited amount throughout April, that's still not any of her business. Bad memories are already bad enough even before they spend the next few years in the aftermath becoming nightmares.

navree being The bruce and jason writer for me all of their fics are so o(- (

Ash Into The Wind by navree

This is his dad in there, the first man he ever called Dad, at any rate, and even after everything, booze and jail and Bruce and death and then death again, there's never going to be a part of Jason that isn't gutted that he's dead. One night, a wraith in a red helmet slips onto the grounds of Blackgate Penitentiary to steal one specific thing.

another one from them

Trapped by lurkinglurkerwholurks

BatFam Week 2018, Day Two. Prompt: Trapped Yes, the prompt is "trapped" and it's a Jason fic. I'm so, so sorry. (Not really, though.) Please see tags for potential triggers.

binge read this writers fics recently they write them so nice

Overcoming Our Antecedents by Batbirdies

Bruce swallows, closing his eyes for a brief moment before he takes another, steadying breath and presses both hands to his face. He just needs a moment. Needs to remember where he is, what year it is, that Jason is not actually fifteen, he only looks like he is. This is temporary. This is just a temporary problem that needs to be contained until they can change Jason back. This is not a repeat of events already passed. This is not a second chance.

Jason and Batfam:

Names and Neapolitan by Muddell

“Goddamnnit Robin,” Hood is there, pulling him into his arms. Robin sees that helmet, he sees the green eyes, the dark hair, he sees open, gray, Gotham sky, and hears tires squealing, and then he sees stone. He sees the cave. Bruce is there. Alfred is there. Dick is there. And Hood is there. Robin rolls in and out of consciousness. He reaches out, snatches the smell of copper and the touch of leather, and he holds Hood’s hand and he does not let go. He’s allowed to say it now. “Jason,” he says. “Don’t leave.” Or, following Dick telling Tim about his older brother, to Tim actually knowing him.

read a couple fics from this writer all so good!!!

Six Ways to Sunday by Muddell

Jason catches Duke hiding a headache and says, is anyone going to deal with that?

same writer!! really love their jason

Settle Down and Sleep by OberonBronze

A series of vignettes about seeking comfort. Damian tries his hand at being a comfort animal; Tim shows up at Jason’s place for an impromptu sleepover; Jason bonds with his older brother after a damaging fear toxin trip; Dick and Bruce have a long-overdue conversation.

really liked jason and dick in this :)

Tuck Me In by OberonBronze

Bruce Wayne and his long-standing habit of tucking his kids into bed.

think how great it is to fall asleep (and how terrible it is to wake up) by mikkal

Jason was fifteen, barely five foot, and underweight for his age when he died. When he came back to his body, suddenly he was too tall, too scarred, too much, too different. And he just... never got used to it. (Or: 5 times a Bat noticed/discovered his body dysphoria post resurrection)

Stranger Danger by alchemistsarego, whumpinaheartbeat (alchemistsarego)

There was never one particular moment that Damian registered that he was losing consciousness. Everything simply flashed from one thing to the next, even though some part of him understood that time had been passing in between. He had been sitting upright, rolling his eyes at something someone had said, then he was on the ground being pinned by some unknowable weight. All at once the weight was gone again, replaced instead by something not only lighter, but much warmer too. A blanket? No, a jacket.

jason and others:

Past Experience by Rookblonkorules

He thinks he might be dying. Again.

clark and jason :)

Bats in the Belfry by endlessnepenthe

Hal idly wonders how long he has before he's found. Probably not very. The Bat's freaky like that. (Or, Hal goes to Gotham and discovers that Batman's brand of freaky isn't exactly one of a kind.)

jason and hal jordan??! and slade? and magic.

[lampiridaes]

HIIII

Your finally open again 🫶🫶🫶

Can i request a tsukasa, rui and nene x reader (separate) and the plot is something like the song “something stupid” more specifically the verse “ the time is right your perfume fills my head the stars are read and oh the nights so blue, and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you “

Thank you xxxx I’ve missed youuu

♬ now playing: "i love you..."

-> saying you love them so suddenly, so unexpectedly... are you trying to give them a heart attack?

★ — chars ; tsukasa , rui , nene

★ — notes ; HELLO H :333 finally writing this. VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!! lowkey got rlly excited to write this then BAAM. SCHOOL WORK EVERYWHERE.!!!! also listen to the song on loop as i was writing (michael buble's cover ft reese witherspoon bc i LOVE michael buble's voice) and it got me in the mood!!! I HOPE U LIKE READING THIS AS MUCH AS I LOVED WRITING IT!!!

★ — warnings ; open endings for all of them (nothing rlly insane lol) , otherwise none!

★ — taglist ; @asherenjoysart , @nogenderbee , @akitosheart , @nenes-numberonefan , @mintchocaur

affiliated with @virtualbookstore ★

★ track one: tenma tsukasa

the day before, tsukasa had invited you to go with this festival with him. there'd be lights, games, prizes... just about any other regular festival.

and yet, here you are with him. people around you are chattering, 'you won!' sound effects can be heard blaring around the entire area.

... surely, if you dropped the 'L' word, he wouldn't hear it.

"...i love you, tsukasa."

a soft yet sad smile can be seen on your expression. you really just said that for no reason, didn't you? how silly.

well, that was what you thought until tsukasa turned back at you, with this bright red blush on his face. yep, definitely heard you.

"...you do?"

this might be the most quiet you've heard from the boy. you were surprised he could even say something like that in such a meek voice.

it's all up to you now. do you want to admit it, change your friendship with him, or would you rather deny it and go back to square one?

★ track two: kamishiro rui

like every other day, you go hang out with rui as he's working on robots for a future show. as always, he appreciates your company. you're a good friend to him, and you also don't touch his works in progress without letting him know.

... also, you tend to ask him questions as he works. not too many to distract him, of course. he finds that rather cute, whether you believe it or not.

he also finds you keeping him company endearing, making sure he doesn't feel lonely... and it seems like you have similar feelings.

"i love you."

is what you thought you thought to yourself, but when rui looked back at you with a startled look on your face, you suddenly realize that you, in fact, said it out loud.

"i meant- i meant your inventions! your work... it's really impressive, rui."

great save there. he totally believed that. especially with how much you stammered.

"oh, that's disappointing. i was about to say the same back to you."

rui had that signature smirk of his, though this one... you could easily tell he lacks the regular cool, level-headedness it usually has.

whatever his intention was, it ended up making you blush in the process. this guy is really going to be the death of you, isn't he?

★ track three: kusanagi nene

you really can't shut your mouth, can you? the original plan was to simply help nene memorize her lines, making sure everything sounded smooth.

yet now you found yourself gazing at her adoringly. one thing led to another, and you just had to tell her that-

"i love you."

it was as if time stopped. you cover your mouth with your hand, gasping with surprise. nene wasn't any different—she was in total disbelief. and if that wide-eyed look on her face told you anything...

"...it's the next character's lines. i'm just... trying to help, yeah?"

the awkward smile on your face didn't make your words any more believable. not to mention, nene has already scanned over the script, she already knows what the actual line is!

"...i love you too."

... that wasn't nene's line. mostly because that wasn't even the other line to begin with, but when nene said that...? oddly suspicious, in the best way possible.

when you finally have the courage to gaze at her once more, you can even catch a glimpse of her subtle yet gentle smile.

"that's my line, after yours."

in a way, she wasn't wrong.

[aliveinacoffin]

Kinda request

hi! I just wanted to ask if u could write a fic of any fandom and character of ur choosing! I enjoy reading your fics so much and I would love to read one of your own liking! Thank you and have a great day <333

i love you guys so much i literally would eat a baby for you guys PLS 😭😭 decided to write a gta v fic with micheal because GYATT damn do I love him, also sorry this took so long, I have like, a trillion fics to write 🥲

Wedding Ring

You knew Micheal was married with a wife and kids, and that he went through hell and back to keep them safe and alive. When he goes off this crazy adventure and he has to hide from the cops, where does he go? That's right, the woman who he has been sharing a bed with the last four years.

Fem!Reader: She/Her pronouns and descriptions

TW!: NSFW, cheating, ghosting, manipulation

It was a nice and sunny day, something that was usual for a city like Los Santos. Still, you took advantage of this fact. You were lounging in your backyard with nothing but a swimsuit on, trying to suntan in peace with your music playing loud as possible, enjoying the feeling of the sun's hot rays on your skin. 

That peace was quickly disrupted.

"Why the fuck are you playing music so god damn loud?" A familiar gruff voice barked from behind you. You snapped your eyes open, quickly sitting up to see the offender who disrupted your peace and broke into your house.

"Oh Michael." You groaned, laying back down on the white pool chair. The separated plastic part of the white chair dug in a satisfying way into your back.

"Seriously, Jesus it's eleven in the morning." Michael stumbled over to your phone, angrily smashing the side buttons.

"Damn who shit in your cereal? Or maybe drink would be better." You scoffed, pissed that he was even here. The old man hadn't contacted you in months, ghosting you after he fucked you in some shitty motel near sandy shores. 

"An old friend of mine and my whole fuckin' family." Michael mumbled, and you watched him behind your black sunglasses approach the bottom of your sunbleached chair, resting his hands on your ankles. He looked down, light green eyes watching his hands trave circles in your ankles. With his motions, his gold wedding ring glittered in the California sun.

"Why are you here?" You asked, not bothering to move from your position hands resting on your stomach. Your fingers suddenly felt very bare.

"I just wanted to see you, is that such a crime?" He shrugged, but his hands started to trail higher, now rubbing on your calfs. 

"Well, aside from the fact you haven't spoken to me in months, let a lone texted me. No, I guess not." You pulled your legs away, sitting on the side of the long chair. You still watched him, hands grabbing tightly on the metal, burning the palms of your hands.

"You know how it is, life gets in the way." He tried to wave you off, shrugging his shoulders. Michael had already taken off his suit jacket, white shirt looking grey with your vision. So he expected you to just hop on his dick right away?

"Yeah, I'm sure it does. With your wife and family keeping you busy." You got up, walking over to grab your phone and speaker.

Michael didn't say anything to that, instead he just watched you. He silently followed you inside, stopping you from closing the sliding glass door on him.

"Seriously Michael, why are you here?" You growled at him, not bothering to spare a glance back at him. You stopped at your sink, resting your knuckles on the metal appliance. His heavy footsteps followed you, and through the window above the sink you saw him come up behind you, watching you.

"I just have a lot of stress, and my therapy is always telling me to get rid of it." Michael's large hands rested on your hips, still watching your face.

"Then go to your wife. I'm obviously not anybody to you." You looked down, unable to meet his watchful gaze. Instead, you regrettable made eye contact with his ring. "Go home, go to your fuckin' over priced shitty therapist and your shitty family that your always whining about." You snapped, but you made no motion to move away from his hands.

"They left me." He admitted lowly, and that made you look up. Michael was not an honest man, he was a lying hypocrite who constantly cheated on his wife. He was always the type to skirt around the truth when it harmed him and constantly complained when he could. The man had left a life of crime, that much you knew, and ever since had regretted it.

"Why?" You asked softly, making eye contact with him again in the window. It was hard to see him, with your glasses and the bright sun outside, so you opted to take them off, making the appeal of Michael much clearer. Though, you couldn't stand stand look at him.  Michael loved making eye contact with you, for a reason you never knew. But it absolutely pained you to watch his eyes fill with want and desperation. 

"I'm not a good man. I chase things that I'll never get, things I can never keep." He leaned over your back, breathing into your neck. He pushed your hips back, pulling you flush against him. His hands wormed their way under the elastic of your bottom, rubbing and pinching the fat there. He pressed gentle kisses into your neck, lightly nipping the skin that was presented to him.

"Is that right? What about the things you have?" You knew for Michael no matter what he did, no matter what he got, nothing would ever be good enough for him. The perfect life he could have in his own expensive mansion is ruined by his own self hate and incompetence. 

He just scoffed at that, like the very notion of his luxury car and permanent retirement from life was so hard, something to just be brushed off like nothing.

"What about me? When will I stop being enough? Or have I already?" You asked, stopping his movements. He had already gotten the strings halfway down your ass, reaching just the top part of your bottom. Michael stilled, unmoving against your warm body.

"No, I can never get enough of you. I had to work on my marriage, but I never stopped thinking about you." Michael admitted, and that made your head hung low. You knew he was prone to just saying whatever would get him into your pants. He always knew what to say the exact words that would make you drop to your knees.

"Or maybe because I'm some pretty young thing who won't give you crabs." You tried to lighten the mood, tried to tease to cover up the aching hole the older man had unknowingly made inside you. He had created a Michael shaped hole in your heart that made you mourn during random hours of the day, and when he would fill it in the late hours of the night it soothed your bleeding heart.

"Hah, maybe." That made you tear up, eyes fluttering while he slipped off your bottoms, groping you fully. You could feel his hard on pressing into you, demanding its way onto you.

He slipped two calloused fingers down, tracing up and down your slit, gathering the wetness that has accrued.

"You act so fucking bratty, but you're so god damn wet." He barked in your ear, mocking you as he slipped a finger in. You sighed, rocking back against his fingers, wanting, needing more. Who knows when the next time he'll come back? 

If ever.

"Come on, you know I can handle way more than that." You rushed, wanting to just get this over with and never wanting this to end.

He tugged on your hair, pulling at your scalp.

"Don't rush me, just shut up and look pretty." Michael's past actions would attest to that, he loved it when you argued, when you threw fits and pouted, he loved every minute of it. Because he knew that if he pushed you for enough, you'd beg for his cock, you'd be crying and whining for it, you'd be crying for him.

Michael never was the one to love a submissive woman, would he like to have one? Sure, any man would. But after a while it would get boring, there'd be no angry sex, no makeup sex, there'd be no back talk for him to shut up. Plus, it would be like speaking to a void, nothing important would actually be said, just a blank woman who agreed to everything and anything.

"Then fuck me silly, hey, that rhymed!" You laughed, before a moan got caught in your throat. Two more fingers shoved themselves into you, stretching you out quickly. It would've hurt more if you weren't already wet and near painfully horny. In truth, Michael was the only man you've slept with in a while. You've had flings with other people, maybe one or two serious relationships thrown in, but when you met Michael, an old depressed angry father, right up your alley might you add, at that disgusting old bar, well, everything and everyone else was thrown out the window. Then, you started seeing each other regularly, you dropped all the people you were talking to, even the sweet girl who had really taken an interest in you, and he had stopped going to cheap hookers, instead going to you solely to satisfy his sins.

He said nothing in response, merely just resuming his harsh treatment of your body, curling his fingers inside you beautifully, his memorization of your body never once faded. Your moans grew louder, curling into your counter until your stomach pressed painfully into the sharp edge.

"Just put it in me already, you old fuck." You spat, trying to push back against him. Michael pulled his fingers out, slapping your ass painfully.

"Watch your mouth when you're begging for my cock." He growled, nonetheless, he pulled down his zipper dutifully and fished himself out. He slid himself up and down your slit  wetting himself with your juices, bumbling and pressing into your clit over and over again. It drove you absolutely crazy, unable to buck and finally just put himself into you. You arched, trying to entice him as much as you could, white knuckle gripping the sink. 

Finally, finally he slowly slid into you, and you both let out a low groan. Michael must've been impatient, since he thrusted his way fully into you, filling you so fast it felt like he was in your ribs.

"Fuh-fuck Micky." You whined, and he wrapped his arms around your middle section and boobs, holding you tight while he absolutely rammed into you. Usually, because of his age and inactivity, he preferred to be on the bottom, let you do all the work. But he must've missed you, maybe he was pent up, or maybe he was taking his anger out on you. Either way, it felt heavenly, his thick cock ramming into you, feeling him drag inside you in and out at a brutal pace, not allowing you to think. 

"Of course you like that, huh? Like my cock inside you, treating you like some cheap slut." He growled in your ear, and it would've made you wetter than you already were if you couldn't feel the cool metal digging into your boob. The reminder of what it meant searing into your soul. You hummed lowly, darting your eyes away from him, finding the counter suddenly interesting. Michael seemed to sense your mood shift, and slowed down, but he never stopped. Instead taking to shallow thrusts inside you.

"What's wrong?" He asked, more annoyance in his voice than care.

"Nothing, why'd you slow down?" You lied through your teeth, trying to buck your hips and resume his pace. But he held you tight and close, even if Michael never really worked out, and was closer to fifty than forty, he still had years worth of muscles underneath.

"Because your poutin', now tell me what's wrong?" He asked again, tone sharp and asking to be tested.

"Your ring." You spat out, feeling slightly ashamed.

"What about my ring?" Michael snapped at you, fully stopping his movements.

"It's digging into me." You knew that wasn't the only thing that bothered you, it haunted you almost everyday knowing you were technically a homewrecker. He had two kids and a wife waiting at home for him, and even if he complained about them, even if both him and his wife cheated on each other constantly, it was still wrong. Usually when you complained about his ring he moved his hand, or set it down gently to the side. But not this time.

Michael groaned, and in one swift movement he threw the ring across the house, and you heard it cling! loudly behind you.

"Michael-" You started to reprimand him, but he bent you over fully on your counter, and let you go. He placed his hands on the counter, using it to slam into you again.

"Oh fuck!" You yelled, eyes nearly rolling into your skull.

"Told you." He was breathless, and you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. 

"To-told me wh-what?" You squealed when he pressed that delicate spongy spot inside you, making you see stars.

"I needed you, all I can think of is you. All your annoying remarks, the way you feel around me, how you look at me like I'm not an absolute piece of shit." Michael leaned down, pressing his head into your neck, nuzzling into you.

"Then why'd you leave?" You managed to gasp out, feeling your orgasm steadily appeared. That wave of pleasure was slowly crashing closer, it made the thoughts in your head become less coherent, nothing mattered aside from the way Michael made you feel.

"I didn't have a choice, I didn't want to. Had to. I never stopped thinking about you." He lifted one hand, and trailed it down, circling your aching clit. You keened, clamping down on him while your vision whited out. Michael grunted, fully pressing himself into you, and you could feel him filling you up, painting your soft walls white.

You both took a minute to breath, still connected while you panted. Slowly, slowly he pulled out of your over-sensitive walls, leaving you achingly empty. You and him just stood there, panting, unmoving.

“So, you gonna dip, or are you going to hang out here for a bit?” You asked, still a little breathless. There was that bitterness again because no matter what Michael said, he’d end up leaving one way or another.

“I think I’ll hang out here for a little bit.” He shrugged, and as you spared him a glance you watched him tuck himself away, not bothering to clean himself. 

You sighed, hobbling over to your bathroom to grab a wet wipe to clean yourself up.

“Whatever.” You called out. “You know where the door is.”

Michae did end up staying for a week or two, sleeping in the same bed as you and spending any time he could with you. For a second you believed he really did change, that he really did want you, instead of what you could offer.

But one day, when you came home from work and called out to no response, you realized he was gone. You sighed, split between wanting to check under the couch or living your life with as little damage to your psyche as possible. 

The former side of you won, your heart pounding in your ribcage. A new wave of sadness ushered over you, your heart aching as your stomach turned, pain overtaking your whole body.

He took the ring with him.

[rabbitsrams]

having a tough time and thinking about schlatt with a perpetually lonely reader

he’d be so sweet always inviting you out with him and his friends, just spending so much time with you if you’ve had a hard week. bringing you home your favorite food and all his love

i need a big guy hug i need to be squeezed to death stella

aww scout this is a sweet idea :( also relatable bc that's my life in college :( i hope it gets better for u soon ilysm 🫂🫂🫂

yes schlatt is 100% that welcoming friend. like you two met in a class or something and he knows you don't have many friends at school so he makes it his goal to try and include you in everything.

it starts off simple. he invites you to eat lunch with him after class, which takes you by surprise since you usually eat alone and he always eats with his friends. but he insists you join him.

meeting his friends is a little awkward at first, but they're very welcoming especially since schlatt has talked you up so much to them (!!!!!!).

and it's nice!! you get along with them very well :)) mostly just vibing

but after it's all done, you think it's the last time. you know these things are usually one-time, they're not actually your real friends, they were just being friendly.

but you're surprised when schlatt texts you that weekend. he's at your building, asking if you want to hang out. you're confused but you accept, cause you weren't doing anything anyway.

and you have just as much as a good time, if not even better. it's a lot more chill at his dorm, not worrying about others being loud in the dining hall and being able to relax. you were never invited back to someone's dorm before and it was a nice feeling.

schlatt becoming a consistent guest at your dorm (you're so thankful that your roommate is often gone) and you guys study together, hang out, talk, etc.

meets you outside your classrooms after class and walks with you to get food <3

also takes you out to his favorite sports off-campus to eat <333 and insists on paying <333333

you often lament to him about your difficulty to make friends. its not like you haven't tried, because you have. it kind of boils down to people not being genuine, you not getting a connection with them despite trying to.

and he reassures you that you don't need to have 1,000 fake friends to be happy in college. these people probably won't matter after graduation.

"hey, if makes you feel better, 'least you've got me."

that makes you cry. you hug him tight and he returns it with equal fervor, squeezing you and never wanting to let go. you mean so much to him, you're such a genuine person and probably the best friend he's ever made at that school.

and possibly wanting to become more than friends 😉

[oxyvouge]

: ̗̀➛ wax wings ༊·˚

summary: after the news of Sirius cheating on you broke out to the whole wizarding world, you confronted him about it.

━━ ✦ pairing(s): husband! sirius black x wife! reader

━━ ✦ warning: cheating

━━ ✦ word count: 1,382

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'M BACK but several months late 😭🙏. here's your request, @lilacspider. hope y'all enjoy <333

YOU DIDN'T exactly remember how you got in this position; with your eyes screaming anger, sadness, and regret all in one in front of your husband himself, Sirius Black.

You didn't get it, why would he do this? And you will never get it. What was the reason? Were you not enough? Aren't you both happy? Why did everything lead to this? There were so many questions floating in your head yet you preferred if they were left unanswered.

Tho, you quite vividly remembered how you watched your son going back to his playroom after giving you a letter he found somewhere inside the house. How Marlene drank all the remaining butterbeer, putting it down on the table with a loud clang.

How Marlene also started talking shit about Sirius. "Honestly, Black can fuck Merlin's Beard. He and his bloody dick can't control itself." How Dorcas kicked Marlene after hearing what she said. "What? I'm right tho. If he controlled his dick, Y/N wouldn't even be in this situation now."

Everything could ramble all over your fuzzy mind but you would never forget how you looked into a specific page of the Daily Prophet reading Sirius' name. BLACK'S AFFAIR BRINGS SHAME TO FAMILY LEGACY. It was written on the headline.

You couldn't bring yourself to read the whole article. It was heart-wrenching. What would become of your son if he was to know? That the whole wizarding world knew about his father's affair except for him.

But you couldn't bring yourself to tell him about it so here you are, confronting Sirius about it with angry tears from the all-for-nothing years that were wasted because of a single affair.

Letters burnt but a single is saved yet crumpled in between your tightly closed hands.

"Be careful with that one, love. He may have already left the Black household, but what runs through him will never leave. He will do what it takes to survive." That was what Dorcas said. Was what they all said. But did you believe it?

You heard rumors about him yet never once in your life have you doubted Sirius' faithfulness until now.

"Are you happy now? Do you feel proud of yourself?" You managed to crack out. "You got back at the legacy you've always been talking about. And now you have a broken family. Congratulations." Legacy. Such a word to risk something important for. But was it just something important?

Sirius didn't say anything. Maybe he was too ashamed to even say anything. He should be. Sirius opened his mouth to speak yet he didn't say anything. You noted how his jaw clenched and his eyes darting everywhere all at once refusing to look you back in the eye.

"You think you're so slick, don't you? Slithering around behind my back like some kind of serpent. You should've been with the Slytherins like your whole family. Tell me, Sirius, why did you do it?"

A scoff was the only sound that came from his mouth. Sirius set his eyes on you, courage slowly building up and that lump in his throat disappearing. "You were gone. I was alone and lonely." Was the only thing he said.

It didn't need you a minute or two to put things together. It's his dick. It always has been. "Was she worth it then? Trading our vows for your lack of companionship?"

"This isn't the first time, Y/N." Dorcas took a look at you and held your hand in an assuring way. "You've married an Icarus, he has flown too close to the sun." They must've been laughing at you already. Noting how dumb you could be, especially in the face of love.

"No! She was no one! She begged me." Sirius cried. He never cried like this so hard ever since he left the Black household for the better.

You laughed. It was stupid. Men and their ability to make stupid decisions with their dick. "Because you were alone? Do you even know why you're alone, Sirius? Because you refuse to come home and now you're pulling me that bloody excuse of loneliness like it was my fault when it wasn't!"

"But I still love you, Y/N!" He kneeled, wanting to grab your hand and beg to all of the Gods out there, Merlin, but most importantly, to you.

"No. I refuse to believe that. That became a lie ever since you were entangled with that woman." You felt tears building up in the corner of your eyes but you would never let it fall. Not when he could see and may use for his self-pleasure. "My—Cepheus, our son, was always coming to our bedroom asking when you'd be back." You emphasized. "You know what I always tell him? I tell him, "Daddy will come home, honey, once you're a good and big boy already!" and he must've already memorized it."

"I'm a big boy now, aren't I, mother?" Your 6-year-old son asked as he stood in front of a measuring tape for his height.

You've always been in front of your porch, waiting when Sirius would come home. "When was the last time he came home?" You remembered Lily asking that and how you stayed silent thinking carefully, when did he last come home? But you never knew the answer to that.

"Every time I look at you now, I see nothing but betrayal etched into your face. That must've been the reason why you never come home."

Maybe you should've burned the article moments ago so you didn't have to be in this position. Like how you burnt the letters he gave you. "Did your wax wings melt? Because I would never understand where you got the courage to do that and admit it like it was never your fault."

You turn from him and into the table where the newspaper lies. You turn to snatch it from there and show it to Sirius. You let out a chuckle, "It was ironic, honestly. You've always talked about legacy; legacy this, legacy that." You took a moment to compose yourself yet your eyes never left Sirius'. "Are you that blind Sirius? They aren't your legacy Sirius. Your legacy isn't your family who you turned your back on. Not Hogwarts. Not the Marauders. Not the Wizarding World. Not them but us. We are your legacy."

You've married the brightest star in the sky, he collided with another and everything exploded. "You've left scars on my heart that may never heal, all because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

You regained your posture and said, "By the break of dawn, I want every each one your clothes and things gone from this house."

"Mommy, is everything alright?" You heard a soft voice calling out to you. You turned to look at the door and saw how your son was holding onto the doorknob, peaking with his tired eyes that came from his sleep. Sirius stood up from the floor and turned away from Cepheus. "Dad?"

You passed Sirius and walked straight towards your son. "Baby?" You bent down to look at him and saw how he rubbed his eyes with a yawn. "Come on, let's go to bed. Daddy has things to do and he's in a hurry baby."

"He's always gone." Your son muttered, catching Sirius' attention. You both left the room and closed the door behind you.

"Did you and dad fight, mommy?" You only managed to smile.

Dear Y/N,

You're the person I want to spend my entire life with. You're the match in a world full of moths and it's drawing me to you. I chased you ever since first year and I don't plan on just walking towards you anytime soon. I want to run. Let's run till we can't anymore. I would watch the world burn, let the supernova engulf the Universe, and let everything fall apart in front of us as long as I'm with you.

I love you so much, my love. Words can't explain how much I love you to the Saturn and back. But maybe, I'm certain, every time I look at you, I fell a million times over.

Let's build a family. A new legacy of the Blacks. It'll be for us all; and maybe, just maybe we can show them what being a Black is really like.

With all love,

S. O. B.

you can make a request here where you'll be guided by the guidelines and check out the masterlist.

this is the most beautiful thing i've written 🥹🥹

ps. i still hate cheaters.

[pastafossa]

hi pasta :) hope your week is going well so far !!

i dunno if you’ve spoken about this or been asked before (i apologise if you have) but i was just wondering how you always get matt’s characterisation so spot on?? if i didn’t know any better, i’d have thought you wrote the show. i can literally always picture him doing/saying the stuff you write <333

😭😭😭 This is like, an AMAZING compliment oh my god, thank you so much!

As for the question I'm not sure if I've talked about it before but ironically seeing it in my ask box triggered a discussion with sis. Like, I know there are folks who have a different take on Matt than mine. That's valid! So I don't want to be like... 'I did the research and delved and etc etc' because they do too. But eventually me and sis arrived at a conclusion that it's a few combos of things that makes Matt easy for me to click with:

A lot of psych classes in college that ironically I've used more for writing than anything else. This helped me understand some of how Matt's background of abandonment and trauma would potentially affect him and influence his coping techniques and behavior. I like learning psych stuff in general so that all wound up being an influence. I'll always recommend digging into this when working with characters!

I've watched Daredevil over and over and over and over and the more I've rewatched, the more I wind up picking up on new things and analyzing what Matt is thinking or feeling (bless Charlie for giving Matt so many little hints and fidgets and subtle touches of what Matt's internally feeling). This includes interviews, behind the scenes stuff, anything breaking down the why of Matt. I'm familiar with him at this point.

There are certain parts of Matt's character that I relate to incredibly strongly as a disabled person with chronic pain raised in the church, and also as someone who went through a long lonely period of depression where I felt very isolated, and then was afraid when I did finally make friends that they'd leave me. So. There's always an element with Matt that's like, 'ah I get it', this sense of resonation. I feel like that natural click with Matt really helped me when writing him, cause... been there, get the motivation, also dude needs to cry more and let that stress out, trust me.

This sounds weird but me and my sis love to break characters down, rip them apart to examine their insides. We love our favorite characters and talking about all their wholesome or badass elements, but we also gd love and have fun dissecting flaws, fuckups, the shadow self, character trauma, are they the asshole, is EVERYONE the asshole, what does this mean when he did this or that. The whole Pasta clan is immersed in that - Dad was a theatre major so got a lot of practice, Mom's loved lit forever, and we all have this tendency, so I got very comfortable very early with taking characters apart in a really honest way to figure out how and why they tick and what the writer/actor is trying to tell you. And since we've all seen Daredevil, and dad has also read a lot of the earlier comics, we've all more than once metaphorically laid Matt out on the table like a frog and dissected his character. I feel like having someone who's not only willing to talk about these layers with you, but also comfortable enough with you to kinda push back and go 'Or what if he was doing it because of this' or 'Ok yeah you love him but he was actually being the asshole here because *valid reason*' is important. Get you some allies who love to know why characters tick!

So basically lots of reading, really enjoying picking characters apart with fam, and familiarity, all mixed up in a bucket of 'Ooooh poor thing, I've been there and that was not fun. You really need therapy and maybe some antidepressants.'

[pumpkinsy0]

Tips on how to write Curly,Tim, and Angela Shepard??

asking MEEEE how to write the shepards??? im rubbing my hands together evilly i feel so honored to b asked this thank u sm<33

BUT, here r some important characteristics for their characters i think could help for writing em!! ill try to focus on things that r like, skimmed passed??? in fics??idk how to explain it

tim

-tim is a cool and collected guy, at most hes scarily calm!!! he has a good head on his shoulders and hes not ignorant to the problems in his life, and almost nothing gets past him, he knows whats wrong w his family and is very observant of it, unlike angela and curly. when it comes to tim, make sure things like his inner monologue and his movements is pretty composed and self controlled. when he thinks, he doesnt think half way, hes an analyzer and he dissects the world around him and tries seeing it for what it truly is, he doesnt let his emotions control him.

-he will always, ALWAYS, have his guard up!! even if its w small things like glancing around, always having back up plans, asking questions about before he even hangs out w em, etc etc, he can never be too sure, and he LIKES being informed, it bothers him so much if hes not, so hes always looking out. on top of that, on a regular ass day, i dont think hes OBVIOUSLY protective of angela and curly, he knows how they get when they feel cornered so he kinda???lets them do whatever???? tim being protective comes off as someone whos more annoyed than anything, other than someone who loves their family

for example he says things like: “i already said no, stop asking”, “didnt i tell u to bring ur blade with u”, things like that!!

-and finally, i think the only way u could actually get tim to b emotional, is if something happened to angela or curly. theyre literally his life lines, if it wasnt for them, he wouldve booked it half way across the country already. tim would be way more hostile and aggressive, its like hes coming apart, but thats rlly only when hes alone, out in public hes still pretty stoic but still agitated a bit more easily. everything he does at the end of the day is for them and while it may not seem like it, hes always thinking of them.

ps: hes quite honestly a lone wolf, he doesnt rlly have friends, ppl he hangs out w, ofc but friends??? eh, hes perfectly fine w being left alone w his own life, but thrives off of being around ppl bc he can use them to his advantage to further himself, but i dont say that in a “mwahahahah hes so manipulative and stone cold hearted😈” way

basically: for writing tim, make sure hes always coming off as a leader, hes always gonna have leadership qualities in whatever he does, so even the small things he does is important, it doesnt matter hiw small u think it is, if u feel like it shows his character, just add it in there. tim does have his limits, and its always gonna b curly and angela. kinda like darry, how he shows how he cares is just different and not understood, however for tim its to a higher degree.

NOW FOR CURLY☝🏽☝🏽

-im not gonna sit here n say that hes book smart, bc generally speaking, hes not, and this may b a bit controversial, but i dont think hes 100% street smart either!!! BUT hes not completely DUMB. while yes, hes not particularly smart in one aspect, hes not CLUELESS, he can grasp complex things and knows what to do, just not everything. ppl undermine him and overplay his stupidity so theyre surprised when he shows that he can b smart, and thats if they DO even realize that, its small when he shows hes smart, but he can have his moments, pls dont write curly as completely incompetent</333

for example: maybe tims trying to come up w a plan and bc curly knows the schedule of these ppl, hes actually a big help, but ppl just dont pay attention to how important that part of the plan was so they dont realize it, maybe ponys ranting to curly about something, and curly got pony to see another side of it he never rlly thought of before, but bc of how he said it, it doesnt “come off as intelligent” but it rlly is!!! i hope this made sense😭

-part of the reason of why he acts out is bc he looks up to tim, but hes not seen as smart like tim OR angela is, hes constantly compared to them both and while he loves being a shepard and loves his siblings, he wants to b seen as his own person and make something of himself!!! this however, can get him into trouble bc hes desperate to prove himself, to who??? to himself, to tim, and to a degree everyone else. im not gonna say curlys “all bark, no bite” bc he isnt, but he can definitely talk more than what he can rlly deliver and that gets him into shit as well and also thats what causes ppl to play up his stupidity. curly is pretty misunderstood and pushed to the side!!!

-i would say that curly being around others is important to write bc i feel like thats when he truly flourishes as a character. hes way more energized and pumped up, so when u write about curly around friends or whoever hes close to, make sure hes more relaxed, boisterous, and adventurous. however, when hes upset, id say hes sorta like tim, his eyes r the same, bit more analytical, and he uses the ppl around him. becomes less of a friend, more like a leader, hes not all buddy buddy, and if they try to joke around w him while hes mad, he pushes them away, tells them to shut up, its like a complete 180.

-if u wanna write about curly going through something, i feel like its important to realize that hes in denial about the problems in his life, not ignorant about it, its pretty in his face, its not like he cant say its not there, but hes just like “yea its bad, but its not THAT bad, i could push through it”, i think thats his way of coping w everything around him, but when hes pushed far enough and forced to come to terms w it, he does some irrational things to cope and turns to drinking

and last but definitely not least, my main girl angela

-she NEEDS to b around ppl, she THRIVES off of the attention of others and if she doesnt get it, shes on edge, she rlly doesnt like being left alone w her thoughts and needs something to distract her. and just like how curly and her r tims life lines, same could b said for curly and tim w angela. she needs her brothers as her support, and if they arent there, she tries to find it in other people, even if its only for a few weeks. bc of this, when it comes to this part of her character, in writing, id say that if u rlly want to make angela go through it, but for her problem to b solved, she goes to either tim or curly, BUT if u want to show that shes really desperate to b heard out, and she feels trapped in a corner, she tries to find comfort in someone else, usually through a romantic relationship. id say that it perfectly shows that for angela, her family means everything to her and she goes to them, BECAUSE she knows they have her back, but when she goes to try and find comfort in other ppl, it doesnt rlly work out or doesnt change, so shes just reminded that “at the end of the day, all u have us ur family and nobody else, ever”, which is a huge thing in her mind as thats just how shes grown up

•now, im sure we all see the shepards as poc, and considering this is the 60s (or 70s or whatever time period it rlly doesnt even matter, poc have never rlly been respected), i think to a degree, angela is sexualized, but its also a way she protects herself. i dont think angela is respected and thats for a multitude of reasons, its bc shes a woman, shes a shepard, and shes a poc, cards r pretty stacked against her. BUT, shes not clueless☝🏽, tim taught her from a young age about the world around her, bc he NEEDED to, its to SAVE her from getting taken advantage of. so to protect herself, she uses the things stacked against her, against em, she knows how hard it is to fight it, so why fight it when u can use it to help u is the way she sees it. and her being sexualized is just one of those things. angela in town is seen as “the forbidden fruit” ig u could say and she knows about it, so she uses the way how ppl see her as an object to use them as her puppet. they dont think shes aware so they dont rlly suspect much from her, hell, they dont even think she can fight, and theyre wrong w that. they just see her as an “easy” girl and if thats what they think, so be it, she’ll fuck w em one day, thats just her survival tactic and how she can survive. as far as this one goes, id say that its important to understand how the ppl around her interact w/see her, as that can help u understand what her next course of action will b, she NEEDS people in order to further herself, shes like tim in that aspect. however it will also somewhat impact how she sees herself, at the end of the day, shes still vulnerable but she doesnt let on, shes spent such a long time trying to cultivate how she wants ppl to see her and she doesnt want that ruined, she’ll do anything to keep that intact, ESPECIALLY lying. so if u want to write her coming loose emotionally, dont add small hints of it when shes in front of other ppl, MAYBE only when shes in front of tim or curly u can do that, if u wanted. in front of other ppl, she hardens up and comes off a little more smarter than she lets off, so she CAN b scary, and thats when ppl remember that shes a shepard. shes too grown for her own good but she just wants control in her life.

-speaking of her life, like curly, shes in denial about the things in her life, but its more so about how they impact HER. she knows their life is completely fucked, she knows how bad it is, but she just says it just doesnt hurt her as much, and to a degree, shes right, but then again, some days r harder for her than others, so while yes, shes vulnerable, this doesnt mean that she cant handle what tim and curly go through, shes not fragile, and i think thats important to remember, shes tough!!!she has to b, she will bite back if she has to. dont JUST write her in high school dramas, she has to deal w some of the gang issues curly goes through, while not AS much, its still there

-ANNDDDD FINALLLYYY, when it comes to angela, while yes, she is analytical, but she can let emotions drive her sometimes, and thats potentially her downfall, shes a pretty impatient person, so when she wants results, she wants it FAST, and it agitates her deeply if things dont go her way, some leadership qualities from tim rubbed off on her, she acts more like tim while curly looks more like him. when it comes to her inner dialogue, u should have a comfortable mix of her being observant and her having a bitttt confident and self assured, let her b a lil cocky!!!

i hope this helped u at least a little bit<3333

[lefthandedhotch]

linnnn <3333 hello <333 it's still Warm outside but it is a cold fall in my heart🥺💔 and i baked today and made bread🥰🥰🥰 it's very good and will most definitely Not last the rest of the week🤭🤭🤭 all i can think about is baking with jack and aaronnnnn <3333 jack getting little flour handprints Every Where!!!!!!!! aaron sneaking a taste of the batter when you turn away and you playfully scolding him because of the raw egg in the mix🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 UGH <333333 i luv them :(

thinking about single mom neighbor reader and this is your first fall being aaron's neighbor and it's so cozy because he and jack invite you and your little girl over almost every day to do many fall activities <3 aaron starts taking tupperware full of baked goods to work to share with not only the team but anyone who stops at the kitchenette on the sixth floor🤭 because you and jack and your little girl cant help but make so many yummy snacks!!!🤭🤭🤭 aaron loves coming home to his once lonely apartment and immediately being greeted with giggles and chatter and wonderful scents instead of silence🥺🥺🥺🥺 he makes his way to his kitchen which would always sit so clean and tidy and he welcomes the mess of flour and sugar and chocolate chips scattered all over the counters because then he's greeted with two little bug wrapping themselves around his legs and Spewing!!!! out alllllll of their thoughts to him while you look over and hide your giggles behind your hand as they talk over each other :'))) aaron bends down and greets them both before making his way over to you to say hello (you two arent dating (yet👀) so your greetings to each other are always soooo shy and silly🤭) with a hug that last sooo long but not long enough😔 while the goodies bake in the oven, the kids run to jack's room to play while aaron helps you clean up (you always apologize for leaving a mess, but he always tells you it's not an issue :') <3) while waiting, aaron pours you a drink and you two share the wine glass while he tells you about his day <3 when he mentions that it got better when he came home to see you and your daughter with jack, you playfully ask if there's anything else you can do to make it Even Better and he nods and leans in for a sweettttt kiss <3 you enthusiatically kiss back because you've wanted this for soooo long and he snorts after you two pull away and asks "cookie dough?" and you get all flustered because he caught you🤭 sneaking a bit of cookie dough even though you've told him to not do that!!!!🤭🤭🤭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 jack and your little girl come back, jack babbling to you about his little drawings while your little girl asks aaron to pick her up because "i missed you, mister aawon🥺💞" he holds her so close and tells her he missed her too you get all :') because this is all you couldve ever asked for!!!!!!! a sweet little blended family of love and happiness and warmth <33

also ily linny :3 mwah💞💞

hiiiiiiii my jess-jess ilysmmmmm MWAH! 🤭🤭🤭💕💕💕 EEEEEK i’m glad your bread turned out so yummy!!!! it’s chilly cold fall in my heart too🥰🥰🥰 plsssssss the baking boys 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they’re so silly :(( i luv them :((

aaron is stuck in Booooooring budget meetings all day long :/ and on a regular day he just suffers in silence listening to stuffy higher ups in the bureau explain Why his team needs Less money (despite aaron’s very organized arguments that they need More money 😔) but between two of the last of his very boring meetings near the end of the day, he gets a text from you with a picture of the kiddos rolling out cookie dough at his kitchen table with the caption “professional bakers at work 🤭☺️” and as he sits through his last meeting he’s Positive that time has absolutely never ever gone this slow 😔💔💔💔💔 now that he knows he’s gonna come home to laughter and silliness and fun and the sweet scent of your yummy baked goods filling the air, it’s nearly impossible for him to get through this meeting 😩😩😩 but!!!!! he makes it through!!!!! and escapes before any of the stuffy higher ups can corner him to talk about whatever little things they need to discuss so he can get home as quick as possible!! the little bugs are sooooooooo excited when they hear aaron’s key in the lock when he gets home and you get those little butterflies that always seem to linger when aaron’s around as he steps into the room with two bugs running around his legs and that sweet grin on his lips 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 that evening, while the kiddos are snoozing on the couch after movie night on a sugar crash from all the yummy cookies they snacked on 🤭 you and aaron press sooooooooo close into each other on the balcony, whispering and kissing and making plans to go on your first Official date that weekend (while jack and your lil girl go for a play date at willifer’s house with henry 🥰) and when you kiss aarons cheek so so softly and whisper “i really really like you, aaron 🥺💕💕💕” he feels his heart thud so hard because he’s just so so damn happy to have this life with you and the little family you guys are making together 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[stevie-petey]

Here's some come home head cannons for come home birthday!! Weird coincidence come home has the same birthday as my grandmother!

Steve has very realistic baby dreams and genuinely gets upset when he wakes up and it's not real

When the party was younger (like s2/3) they'd call Steve to the arcade to help them with a tough level no one could beat. Steve acted like it was an inconvenience but loved hearing them cheer for him when he won.

They also used to do the same with Jonathan in season one. :( Jonathan ran into Steve helping them and got a little hurt that they called him. ( It was Dustin who called)

It was bugs grandmother who taught her to bake, while Claudia preferred to cook. Everytime bug tried cooking it either came out burnt, undercooked, or just tasted off.

After the divorce Claudia struggled, even after coming back to Hawkins. If Dustin and bug ever made her upset they'd clean the whole house while she was out as an apology. It made her cry every time.

Mews was actually a stray kitten bug and Dustin found. A dirty, fussy, kitten in the woods that Dustin and bug brought home with a smile begging to keep him.

Jonathan made Nancy a mixtape but they have different music tastes. She still appreciates it and plays it when she misses him.

Jonathan gave out candy one year instead of trick or treating and decided to scare the kids that came to the house. He made a kid cry then gave them the whole bowl of candy and turned the lights off. Felt bad the rest of the night. Never told a soul, Joyce just thought he ate the candy.

Eleven looks up to Joyce and started to copy everything she did when they moved to California. The way she talked and dressed, how she did her hair. (Hence the bangs)

Max wishes she was more like bug, she wishes she was kind and not so sarcastic. Little does she know bugs kindness is a defense just like Max's sarcasm.

Joyce made els first Halloween costume and went out trick or treating with her even if she was " too old"

Will paints his memories when he feels lonely. There's a painting of him and bug when they got the flu and had a sleepover ( from the mind flayer in season two? When they were trying to talk to will)

It's Jonathan's favorite painting wills done. Will offered to give it to him but he declined. He still looks at it often when he's homesick ( so does Joyce)

Nancy feels sorry for her mother, shes proud to have her mother's spirit, she's just sad she never got to love her dreams. She wants to do better and make her mom proud.

Nancy(s1) used to do a lot of slightly cringe things. Like she fist pumps the air when she does something right, and dances around her room to music. She sings in the shower but Mike will bang on the door and tell her to be quite. She'll do embarrassing stuff to make holly laugh, just like she did for Mike when he was little. ( Rarely worked he's always had that unimpressed look)

Hopper wants El to be like bug when she grows up, he's happy she has someone like bug to look up to. He sees bugs strength and wants El to have her integrity, and wisdom when it comes to life. He'd never say anything about it though.

Bug has a box of letters under her bed from the Byers. And she pins the pictures will sends her on her wall ( it's slowly being overrun by drawings.)

RAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THESE I LOVE GETTING HEADCANONS <33

steve does get baby dreams and he genuinely wakes up sad sometimes (they always happen when he sleeps in bugs bed - hes had to ask to sleep in his bed from now on) and he DEF played at the arcade with the party and bug finds him there one day and absolutely melts (the jon part ,,,,, pls u hurt me).

bug def cant cook shes cursed and can only bake and u read my mind it WAS her grandma who taught her <333

the jon and halloween candy made me GIGGE he would so do that and bug makes fun of him for it every single year LMAO.

maxd and bug :(( god u got it spot on.

and the PAINTING :((( he paints the fort they built and the warmth of the light that reflects bugs face in the painting is so vivid and real that it hurts jonathans chest to look at (joyces too).

i could write essays about nancy and her mom good god . on a lighter note: she IS a nerd and still in my mind does these cute dorky things secretly (jon never teases her for it, he joins).

hopper and el and bug oh my god </3 in my mind, hopper sees sarah in bug. thats why he hated her so much at firsy. bugs wide eyes, childish wonder, and endless kindness reminded hopper of the daughter he lost.

and finally: bug keeps everything. she has it all. her room is just pieces of everyone shes ever loved just as much as her clothes are and her jewelry.

[astraystayyh]

omg happy first birthday my sahar !! im not here from the very beginning but i'll never forget the day i found your account and it just makes me so incredibly happy to see you grow like🥹 im so proud of you, never forget that !!!!

also i'd like to request a teeny tiny drabble, some kind of reunion with lino ?? like, you had to work abroad for a little while and he misses you so much and you decide to surprise him and its all soft and maybe lino even cries a little bc he just can believe youre in his arms again ??

i hope this isnt too much, dont feel pressured please !! anyway, i love you and im proud of you mwah😽😽😽

my merin i hope you know that you mean the absolute world to me, you’re literally one of the first people whose username i’ve memorized and i always look forward to your feedback because you’re the absolute sweetest to me. i can’t thank you enough for making this year brighter for me <333 anddd this drabble is for u hehehe so i wont tag it,, enjoy it babyyyy i love u 🥹💓

there has been a lump growing in minho’s throat from the moment he has dropped you off to the airport— a kiss on your forehead as a farewell, your intertwined hands slowly slipping from one another as you waved him off.

“i’ll be gone for a week, max. it’ll go by quickly,” you had reassured him the night before, but the universe seemed to taunt him, stretching the seconds more and more till every day spent without you suddenly felt like a year.

he felt your absence in the obvious— you weren’t there greeting him once he got back from work, and you weren’t there scrambling eggs on the stove, clad in one of his old t-shirts. but he also felt it in the subtle cues, the smell of your perfume in your bedroom grew fainter, the house now void of your giggles— much quieter, as if in pause waiting for your return.

he was surprisingly good at hiding his longing from you, smirking at your reflection on the phone as he stated how grateful he was to have the bed all for himself- all while sleeping on your side to trick his brain into thinking you were close.

but now it was day six and your trip had extended for three additional days, and minho missed you so much his heart seemed to bleed out your name. he knew it was his 3 a.m. meaning that it was your midnight but he still called you, needing to hear your voice.

“hi, honey.” you greet, voice coming out as faint whisper. “why aren’t you asleep?”

“i couldn’t,” he admits softly and you giggle, a hint of teasing in your tone.

“because you miss me?”

“mm,” he simply hums, bringing your pillow closer to his body. “i miss you,” a pause, a shaky breath escaping him. “more than you know.”

“minho,” your voice softens, and the sound of his name dripping this gently from your tongue makes tears well in his eyes.

“say it again.”

“minho?”

“yeah, please. say it.”

it is not often minho asks you for something, even less often does he ask you for an act this simple, this sweet.

“minho,” you call out gently, and he hums, wiping away his cascading tears.

“my minho.”

“yours.” he has the phone on speaker now, eyes closed imagining as if you are near.

“i love you,” you say sweetly and he nods, though you can’t see him. he wishes you could.

“i love you.”

“i miss you.”

“i miss you most.”

“i’m here,” a kiss on his shoulder startles him, and he turns around to find you hovering above him, a giddy smile on your face.

“what, h…how?” he stutters, bringing you into his hold immediately. his nose buries inside the slate of your neck, his arms encircling your waist as if afraid you’d evaporate if he lets you go.

“hi, baby,” you beam, planting kiss after kiss on his shoulder. you can feel his tears wet your shirt but you don’t comment on it, instead running your fingers through his hair soothingly.

“how was your bed without me?” you tease, pulling away slightly to lock eyes with him.

“lonely,” he says earnestly, eyes still brimming with tears.

“bad week?” you pout, swiping your thumb gently across his cheek.

“all good now,” he finally smiles, before pressing his lips against yours softly. “how did you come?”

“my trip didn’t extend. i just wanted to surprise you. chan just dropped me off,” you explain.

he stays silent for a little while, eyes simply taking you in.

“i’ll ask you to marry me, you know that right?”

your heart skips a beat. the house becomes a home once again.

“and my answer will be yes.”

[lovelyokkotsu]

jjk boyfriend hcs !!3!::!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

first up is… megumi fushiguro :d!

such a silly lil guy :3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

first meeting megumi 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪:

: ̗̀➛ if you’re a sorcerer, you’ve probably met him on a mission, or has been assigned to a mission with him.

: ̗̀➛ however if you aren’t a sorcerer, then he definitely has saved you from a curse spirit, or at calm places that megumi is fond of and visits often.

: ̗̀➛ if he’s really attracted to you, then at first he’s a little shy, not knowing if he should make the first move to talk to you, or just wait for you to notice him to spark up a conversation.

: ̗̀➛ some dialogue to help you imagine it <3:

- (you): “hello megumi..?? megumi fushiguro right? i’ve heard a lot about you from kugisaki and yuji. i never knew you loved going to these sort of places..? hm, how about we walk along that bridge over there? the setting looks so amazing with the sun setting..”

- (megumi): “oh…hi (you), i think i’ve ran into you before, but you probably don’t remember that since only i saw you, but you didn’t see me and i…….yes, we should get to know each other whilst walking, that seems pretty calming.”

: ̗̀➛ poor bookie is scared you’d find him weird if he rants to somebody he’s just met 😭

confessing <333! 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

: ̗̀➛ after practicing in the mirror a thousand times, megumi knew that today was the right time to spill out his feelings for you, without you feeling like you have to force them back out of pity. if you don’t return the same feelings, that’s completely fine, he’d never force you to <3

: ̗̀➛ once he’d texted you to meet up, the pressure is ON. mf would be sweating once you two meet 😭, but let him take his time !!

: ̗̀➛ “i..like you a lot. ever since my eyes landed on yours, my heart felt at ease yet it was beating so fast, thumping, and it all felt so amazing to me. nobody has ever made me feel this way except you..you, just you. i know this may be corny, but i may not live without you. i wanna know how your embrace feels like, your kisses, and espeically that gorgeous smile of yours. however, if you don’t like me the same way, that’s completely fine, i could never force it on a person like you. so..?”

: ̗̀➛ of course you say yes otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this 😒 and you don’t regret this decision!!

dates with megumi 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪:

: ̗̀➛ all of the dates you go on with him is the absolute best! you two take turns on picking where to go, but most of the time, he pretends that he already had his turn, just so you can have the choice of choosing where to go next <3!

: ̗̀➛ whether you’re more of a home date person, adventuring, or minimalist, whatever, he WILL AGREE.

: ̗̀➛ you’re not paying. simple. no argument.

: ̗̀➛ here’s some dates you’d go on!:

- theme parks!!

- restuarants!!

- paintball!!

- movie marathons!!

- laser tag!! (he got out immediately cause of his long ahh spikes peeking out of where he was hiding 😭

- picnics!!

- sightseeing!! (though it mostly gets interrupted, because gojo spies on you two.)

: ̗̀➛ in the end of your dates, he’d cuddle you to sleep if you guys went on a more adventurous date than most, and if not, and just stayed at home or had dinner outside, then he’d stay over to keep your lonely ahh company <3

megumi’s interests/hobbies 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪:

: ̗̀➛ he actually likes swimming, and goes underwater to relax, if he had a long day.

: ̗̀➛ as much as sweet foods are okay for him, he will always pick savoury.

: ̗̀➛ big meals that fill him up are better than anything else, so if you don’t know how to cook, well you better learn!!

: ̗̀➛ he’s a huge music enthusiast, listening to artists, such as chase atlantic, the weeknd, autumn!

: ̗̀➛ he also secretly listens to serani poji 🤫

: ̗̀➛ let’s be real, he’s a kpop stan.

: ̗̀➛ his fav groups would be twice, loona, enhypen, ateez, and txt!!

: ̗̀➛ when it comes to anime/manga, he normally doesn’t talk about it that much, or even so mention it especially in front of others, cough, cough, GOJO SATORU (we all know that gojo watches jjba for the poses and flashiness!)

: ̗̀➛ manga reader, and if you don’t shut down the conversation, he will slip out the manga plot 💀

: ̗̀➛ sometimes, he likes reading romance manhwas, knowing damn well he’ll never try the shit that the main lead/second lead does 😭

: ̗̀➛ a major insomniac!!

pet names 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪:

: ̗̀➛ tbh he wouldn’t really call you specific names, since your name is so dear to him.

: ̗̀➛ but occasionally, he’d call you baby, cutie, sweetheart.

: ̗̀➛ his favourite would have to be “my girl/boy/person.”

: ̗̀➛ because you’re obvi his duh!

cuddling positions 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪:

: ̗̀➛ he’s definitely big spoon, 100%!! that’s one of his favourite positions to cuddle, as he loves snuggling you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist, so you cannot escape at all..

: ̗̀➛ his ultimate favourite would have to be face to face embrace, because he gets such a clear view of your adorable sleeping face, or awake face, staring right back at him lovingly.

: ̗̀➛ he loves being close to you, so it’s a definite that he loves the burrito, as you two are literally wrapped together with the blankets :3!!

i think that’s it! lmk who’s next!! ੈ✩‧₊˚

[borgialucrezia]

Hi, so this question suddenly popped up in my mind and I can't stop thinking about it. And since you're my favourite The Borgias blogger, I've decided to ask you.

Do you think Juan ever learned any details about Lucrezia's first marriage? Did he know or suspect what a horrible experience it was for her? Like, the way her divorce with Sforza was brought to pass, he should've had some questions, right? I just wonder... Did he try to talk to Lucrezia and she refused? Did it became another point of disconnect between them & on contrast with her and Cesare becoming even closer no less? It must've hurt him a great deal.

I don't know where I'm going with this, it's just a speculation really but I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Thanks <333

first, it makes me happy that i'm one of your favorite borgia blogs anon so thank you <33

now let's get into the answer;

i don't think juan ever knew tbh? aside from that interesting moment when he and cesare were welcoming sforza to the vatican, and juan couldn't even hide his disgust while he was saying the part "and our sister shall soon be yours" to giovanni, which says a lot that he's as displeased as cesare with lucrezia's marriage, but they have no choice but obey their father, obviously lol

also, knowing how protective juan gets and always in attack mode when someone wrongs or tries to have their way with her or their mother, even with misguided notions. for instance, he attacked his mother's husband after he called her 'dear', because he took it as an offense and triggered his fight-or-flight instinct to protect her and defend the family's honor (likely also to cover up his insecurity about potentially not being a borgia, but born of a peasant).

similarly, when juan and lucrezia were hanging out and paolo got very close to her, juan felt defensive of his, to quote juan, "angelic sister", like a guard dog. his aggressiveness is also because he was forced into the role of the family's protector and took it to the extreme to prove himself a true borgia. he rightfully saw paolo as a threat who wanted to sabotage his sister and cause her a scandal, unlike cesare who knew that paolo was a source of solace to lucrezia while she was suffering from her husband's abuse.

now let's circle back to if juan knew about giovanni sforza and how he treated lucrezia or or not. i don't think he ever did because lucrezia doesn't confide in anyone but cesare. everything juan does for lucrezia to make her happy just, unfortunately, backfires - like the play he directed for her wedding that ended up making her husband angry and assaulting her, or his attempt to protect her from someone he thought wanted to take advantage of her, or the panther he brought her to win her respect but that ended up biting her. their disconnection is a main theme about their dynamic.

he adores his mother and she seems fond of him, but she doesn't see her son's pain as they're not that connected, unlike how vanozza is with lucrezia and cesare. and his father indulges him only to use him as someone whom he relives his youth through, yet keeps him out of everything while pressuring him with massive expectations and threatening him with cesare's hypercompetence. he's always clashing with cesare, yet tried to elicit some sort of admission or expression of brotherly love from him, only to be told directly that he doesn't like him much.

at the end of the day, juan is a very lonely and sad person who has fallen into hedonism as an escape from his misery, because he does not feel genuinely liked or included by his family for who he is since he doesn't measure up to his family's standards no matter how hard he tries. to reference what david oakes said, his family were just picking up on him and hypocritically judging him when he genuinely does what he thinks is right for the people he loves so much and wanted to be included with; he always had their best interests at heart, but they've always pushed him away.

he was obviously very flawed as a person, and sometimes he's short-sighted and a dangerous combination of reactive behaviors and rage. also, losing his sister's respect forever for something he thought was good for her made him lose all faith in love, compassion, and even sanity, since he considered her an ideal of those terms. and when he tried one last time to confess to his brother and give his heart to him, he met his untimely fate.